


All I Really Want

by WickedWonder



Category: Boy Meets World
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-16
Updated: 2011-06-07
Packaged: 2017-10-20 05:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/209453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedWonder/pseuds/WickedWonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something unexpected happens, and Topanga doesn't know how to deal. My first story, from 2002.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Topanga**

"Oh my God."

My voice echoed through the empty apartment. I had forgotten that Cory had told me that he was going to Shawn's to do some guy activity. I was actually glad he was gone- I was going to need some time to think.

I plunked back down on the toilet seat heavily and peered at the plastic wand I was clutching. Every time I looked at it, I wanted something different to appear on it. The two pink lines, though, never faded or- anything. I, according to this test at least, was pregnant.

A rage built up inside me. I know in the books, they say that the woman feels the utmost joy and radiance at the thought of bringing a child into the world. All my mind was saying, "Why, why, why?" I started to rage for no reason except that it wasn't my fault. I remembered the problems I had on the Pill- mood swings, a 20 pound weight gain, sore breasts, and no period. In short, I felt pregnant.

Cory offered to take over the contraception while I got my hormones back on track. And everything had worked fine until an evening a couple of months ago. One time, and it's not even the right time, I reasoned. "No, sweetie, don't run to the store. It'll be okay. Besides, it's raining." I could have kicked myself for those words now.

Another thought ran though my head. What if... but then I pushed the thought out of my head. I'm not particularly religious, but I couldn't imagine not giving birth to this baby. It wasn't the child's fault that it's parents were still in college and broke and would remain so for the foreseeable future. Also, how would I tell Cory? He was delighted (albeit scared out of his head) about being a father when he thought I was pregnant before. Also, this time I would get to keep the check fron Nana BooBoo.

I finally got off the toilet seat. I changed from the sweats I was wearing into a pair of slacks and a blouse. If I was going to stress, I would have to confirm there was something to stress over. Before I left the the house, I picked up the phone. If I had to go through with this, I definately needed some support.

 

 **Angela**

 

We sat in the student clinic. Topanga was silent, pale-faced, and grave. She held one of my hands tightly as we waited. Once she looked at me and I had a sudden flash of insight. 'She's scared out of her mind. She's usually the calm one, but she has no idea of what to do in this situation.'

When the nurse finally called her into the examining room, Topanga whispered fiercely, "I shouldn't even be here. I already know what the doctor's going to say."

I watched her go down the hall. Once she was out of my sight, I sighed and slumped over in my seat. As bad as Topanga's problem was, it was something that her and Cory would get through. I had major troubles, and no one to turn to. Topanga was understandably distracted, and Rachel and I weren't really close enough for me to start spilling secrets to. Out of the boys, Shawn couldn't find out, at any cost, Cory and Shawn were too close for me to tell the other one something I didn't want both of them to know, and Jack and Eric, again, I didn't know well enough to start telling personal things to. That left Mr Feeny and my dad. My dad already knew, and I really didn't want to tell Mr Feeny something that would make him look at me with anything less than respect. I wouldn't take that chance.

I sat there musing a while longer, until Topanga came back down the corridor. She looked shaky and she was still paler than I would have liked to see her. She sat back down next to me and said in a small voice, "They said that they were rushing the results though the lab. We can wait here, or if you want to go to the student union-"

"What do you want to do, honey?" I asked, putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I want to wait. But if you want to go meet Shawn somewhere..."

I winced, thinking of Shawn's face if he ever found out the secret I was keeping from him. "If you want me to stay, I will."

We ended up waiting for about two hours, each of us lost in our own thoughts. When the nurse called Topanga's name again, we got up and walked into the doctor's office together. We sat down in the chairs as the doctor came in.

"Well, Ms Matthews, it appears that you will be having a child in seven months." I watched as Topanga's face went from ivory to chalk white. "I know that you weren't hoping to hear that, but you do have other options."

"I could never abort a child, Doctor."

"I understand, but I was talking about maybe putting the child up for adoption. There are lots of people who would love to raise a child, but cannot have one." He handed Topanga a business card. "Why don't you give Stella Runyon a call. She's a social worker, and she can help you with things you need. Well, I think that wraps everything up. Here's a prescription for prenatal vitamins, and a directory to find a OB/gyn. I'm just a general practioner. Any questions?"

We shook our heads quietly, stood up, shook hands with the doctor, and walked out. Once we were outside, Topanga stopped and drew a deep breath.

"I've got to see Cory now. I know he's over the boys' apartment, and Shawn's there. Are you coming with me?"

"No girl, I'm going to go and do some studying for tomorrow's exam. Call me tonight, okay?" I gave her an extra big hug. "Everything's going to be okay." She didn't know that I was trying to reassure both of us.

 

 **Topanga**

 

As I walked down the corridor of the apartment building, I thought about the best way to ask Cory to come home with me without making him worry or sounding like a nag. Usually I just told him what to do, but I had a irrational fear of making him upset so that he wouldn't leave me and the baby. As it turned out, I didn't have to worry. Standing outside the apartment, I could hear the men- boys really- yelling about something they were watching on television. I knocked on the door, and when no one answered, I pounded with the side of my fist. A sudden silence decended inside the apartment, and then Eric answered the door. For some reason, his shirt was buttoned wrong. He was eating a Ding-Dong, and when I looked at his face and saw crumbs on it, and smelled the chocolate, I got severely nauseated. Throwing a hi to the guys, I ran into the bathroom and turned on the water as I proceeded to lose my breakfast and lunch. After I wiped my face dry, I came back out to find four pairs of eyes trained on me. "I needed a potty break," I offered lamely.

Satisfied with that explaination, the men went back to watching the tv. I went behind the couch and touched the top of Cory's head. "Hey, when you coming home? I need to talk to you," I whispered.

"'Kay," he said briefly. "Go, Red Wings!" Still cheering, he stood up and inched his way to the door. He pulled me out into the hall and hurriedly pressed the elevator button.

"What are you doing?" The elevator came and we got inside. Cory held the DOOR CLOSE button until the doors shut. Then he turned to me. "Thank God you came! Shawn was holding me hostage. You know I hate hockey. So, what did you want to talk about?"

"It can wait until we get home. Since when you hate hockey?"

"Since forever," Cory said vehemently. "Anyway, I felt guilty because I haven't spent as much time with Shawn lately. So I just couldn't get up and walk out."

I let Cory yammer on about Shawn and hockey and about Eric's latest stunt that involved Hostess snack cakes. Just hearing about it made me want to throw up again. When we got back to our apartment, I put on my tea kettle and tried to build up my nerve. Cory sat down and watched me with worried eyes as I paced back and forth in front of the couch. Finally I sat down and faced Cory. I took one of his hands and placed it on my heart. He said, startled, "Your heart is beating like a triphammer."

"I'm nervous," I said simply.

"Don't be. Whatever it is, we can get through it."

I moved his hand down to my stomach. "I know..." I faltered, started again, "I know you can't feel anything yet, but there's a little person in there."

He moved his hand over my abdomen frantically. His eyes met mine, and I could see the tears there. We hugged wordlessly, and I finally let the tears I had been holding inside flow. When we finally let go of each other, he said, "Do we know when?"

"About seven months from now."

"Two months pregnant? But..." I shot him a look and I saw the wheels in his head turn. Finally he said, "Oh. Next time, I make the trip, right?"

"Most assuredly. Now, I have to call this lady. She's a social worker, and the doctor said I have to find an OB/gyn."

Cory nodded. "Maybe you can use the one my mom had."

Then we looked at each other. "We have to tell our parents..." I said.

"Shawn," Cory listed.

"Angela already knows."

"Jack and Rachel."

"Eric and Morgan."

"Feeny."

Then we said together, "Nana BooBoo!" and laughed.

 

 **Angela**

I walked aimlessly around campus. I was trying to avoid anyone I knew, because I was sobbing as if my heart was breaking. I'm an emotional person, but not a cryer by any stretch. I just felt so down, and I knew why, even though I didn't want to admit it. An important anniversary was coming up for me, and I didn't have anyone to share it with. Impulsively, I ran to my room and picked the phone. I dialed anxiously and waited.

"Hello?"

"Dad? It's me, Angela."

"I know. How's my girl? Still getting those A's, I hope."

"Grades are good. I was feeling a little down, though."

"Why?"

I didn't want to tell him exactly, so I said, "Next week is May 17th."

"Oh. Well, you just need to get your mind off of things. How about making a visit to dear old dad?"

"I can't, finals and all. Maybe after this semester's out."

"I'll look foward to -bye."

And he hung up. I stared at the receiver numbly as the dial tone sounded. When it turned into that loud "hang up" sound, I finally set the phone on the cradle. At least this time he spoke to you, I reasoned. I did decide to take his advice, though, and try to find something to occupy my time other than myself. I walked out of my apartment with a renewed sense of purpose. I knew the perfect place to look.

 

 **Eric**

 

"Therefore, we can conclude that the Civil War was not only fought for slavery, but for important social and financial reasons. Any questions?"

Eric, recognizing the end of the lecture, straightened up and tried to look attentive. He made a mental note to ask Feeny what the social and financial reasons were. As the class was dismissed, Mr Feeny called out, "Mr Matthews, may I see you for a minute?"

Eric made his way to the front of the lecture hall as the crush of students thinned out. He waited for the last student to leave before he said, "You wanted to see me?"

Feeny slipped off his glasses and looked at him with his "Don't even think about anything" look. "Eric, while your grades have significantly improved over the last few months, your performance could still be better. Since you are graduating this year, I have arranged for you to have a tutor."

"Is it you?" Eric asked hopefully.

"No. Eric..."

"Is it Cindy Crawford? I heard she's smart. Or maybe Katarina Witt."

"Eric! Pay attention. Her name is Victoria. You will meet twice a week, right after my class. You start today. Any questions?"

Eric sighed and resigned himself to the inevitable. "All right. Where do I meet this... Victoria?" "She should be arriving at your apartment in fifteen minutes. That should give you enough time to get there and clean up that pigsty you call home." Mr Feeny patted him on the shoulder. "Again, let me stress that you have made vast improvement. I just think that you need some extra help with the dates."

Eric walked out of the classroom grumbling. He didn't want nor need a tutor. As he walked across campus, he looked at a girl that looked like Angela, but she was moving too fast for him to catch up to her. Shrugging his shoulders, he continued walking. He actually made it back to his apartment with time to spare. Instead of attempting to straighten up the mess, he went to the kitchen and grabbed a Twinkie. Unwrapping it, he sat on the couch and ate it while he took off his shoes and began scratching his toes.

A knock on the door sounded. Eric got up, deliberately unbuttoning and rebuttoning his shirt wrong. When he opened the door, he faced a surprised girl. For some reason, she reminded him of Topanga, although they weren't physically similar. Victoria was short. Eric had a good six inches on her. Her skin was the color of coffee with a lot of cream in it. Brown almond eyes locked on his. Her hair was in two spiky ponytails on either side of her head. She was wearing a shirt that said "Devil" and a pair of bell-bottom jeans. All together, she gave the impression of being a hippie. Sure that he was in for an easy time, Eric let her in and offered her a Devil Dog because of the shirt.

She wrinkled her nose. "Thanks, but no thanks. I make it a rule to never eat things with sweet lard inside of them. Could I have a glass of water, please? Then if you want, we can get started."

After he brought her the drink, he said, "So, Victoria, why do you tutor?"

"Please, call me Tory. Victoria is my aunt. I tutor because I needed to fufill a volunteering commitment for a scholarship I received. I asked Mr Feeny if he knew of any faculty who could use a free tutor for their department, and he referred me to you."

"So, what did he tell you about me, Tory?" Eric asked, scooting closer to her on the couch.

"Only that you were smarter than you acted, you like weird pranks, and that you have a very close group of friends that you tend to get in trouble with."

"Pretty accurate," Eric allowed.

"Well, time to get started. Mr Feeny said that you're working on the Civil War, but the dates and battles were throwing you. Tell you what. Let's draw a timeline. Men tend to be visual learners, and if you see the dates in your head, it might help you to remember them. While we're drawing, I'll tell you why each battle is important. Do you have some markers?" At Eric's head shake, she said, "I have some in my car. I'll be back, okay?"

As soon as the door closed, Eric hurriedly picked up the clothes that were strewn all over the apartment. He rebuttoned his shirt correctly and was busy clearing the coffee table when Tory walked back in. He leaped up and took a heavy backpack from her.

"Good God, woman, do you have rocks in here?" he gasped.

She smiled. "No, just a few hundred books. I read a lot."

"Oh." Eric watched as she pulled out the supplies and a glasses case. Slipping them on her nose, she said, "Nearsighted. Now, let's begin with the beginning of the war."

A couple of hours later, they admired the finished masterpiece. All the battles fought were in red, the dates in blue, and important people in orange. Eric shook his head in amazement. "When you suggested this, I didn't think it would work. But seeing this in front of me- I might actually get a C this time."

Tory laughed. "Aim high, Eric. Your are getting an A on this."

"If you say so."

"I know so." Tory linked her arm through his. "Now let's go get ice cream. Hard studying deserves a reward."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two  
Two Months Later  
Topanga**

"Honey, do you want some water, even?"

Just the thought of putting anything into my mouth made my stomach roil. I tried valiantly to fight it, but ended up dashing to the bathroom. It was where I spent most of my time nowadays. I was so glad that school was out for the year, because I would never make it through a class without running out to a toilet.

When I walked out of the bathroom, Cory was sitting on the couch. He deliberately was not looking at me. His concern carried over to the point that he would sometimes get sick if I was. What had started out as morning sickness was turning into something more. I just didn't know what. I made an appointment with my new OB/gyn, Dr Hastings, to ask what the problem was. Cory and I also had our first appointment with the social worker, Stella Runyon, this afternoon. If I was still not feeling well, though, I was going to reschedule.

I sat down on the couch and put my head on Cory's lap. "I'm sorry, baby," I said. "You've been so good to me."

His face looked down at mine. "Really truly?"

"Really truly."

We sat there, watching television. I drifted off as again, I tried to think about how the baby would look. For some reason, I was having a hard time picturing the baby as real. I figured that once I felt the baby kick, or I started to show, I would actually feel like a mother-to-be, instead of someone with a 4- month flu.

I did feel better before we left, although I still didn't want to eat. Car rides made me even more nauseous than usual. In the office, we sat as the woman, Ms Runyon, told us about programs that might be able to help us with financial aid, daycare when we were ready for school, and even places that could help us get a bigger apartment after the baby was born. Then she asked, "Have either of you thought about the impact this is going to make on your life? You have both stated that this is an unexpected pregnancy. There are other choices open to you."

Cory took my hand as I said warily, "Our clinic doctor told me about... adoption. How there are people that want children that can't have them."

"That's true. So many infertile couples out there would even cover hospital costs and travelling expenses."

"We have insurance," Cory said. "I'm covered as a dependent on my dad's policy."

"That's well and good, but you're not just not going to pay before the baby's born. You are both still in school. Cory, you're working now, but what about when school starts? You can't both go to school full time and still hold a full-time job, unless you can go without sleep and study time. Topanga, you'll either have to drop out and stay home with the baby or pay for daycare. All I'm saying is that you consider your options. Look, here's some brochures that can give you some more information. Talk this out. We'll set up another appointment and see what happens."

We agreed and walked out of the building into the warm July sunshine. Usually, July is a sticky month here, but the humidity was down. I was just glad I wouldn't reach the heavily pregnant stage until the fall. As we got into the car to drive to Dr Hasting's office, I said timidly, "What do you think about what Ms Runyon said?"

Cory turned the ignition. "Don't worry about it. She's just fatalistic. We'll be fine." He patted my hand as we rode to the OB/gyn's.

As we walked into the office, the nurse called my name. When we went into the exam room, Dr Hastings was sitting on the stool. "Well, Topanga, I hear that your morning sickness is more like morning, noon and night sickness."

I described my symptoms to her. I watched her face become more grave. When I finished, she told me, "It sounds like you have a very severe form of morning sickness. The danger is that you- and the baby- could become dehdyrated. What I'm going to do, is admit you..."

"To the hospital?" I interrupted.

"Yes. What we'll do is give you an intravenous drip of glucose water to rehydrate you and give you some nourishment. We'll also add some anti-nausea medication. Once we can get you to eat regularly, you can come home."

"All right, I guess. Couldn't I just take the medication and stay at home?" I asked hopefully.

"No, because the medicine is also administered by IV. Do you have any questions? No? Well, then go ahead straight to County General."

"Right now?" Cory asked. His voice sounded calm, but I knew that he was very worried inside.

"The sooner we get started, the better for Topanga and the baby. It's a wonder that she didn't pass out long before she got here today."

"We'll leave now," Cory said. He took my arm and walked me like I was 94 years old.

"Cory. I'm pregnant, not incapacitated."

"I'm making sure. I couldn't help with the dehydration..."

"It's not your fault! How did either of us know? Look, we can discuss this later. We'll go to the hospital, they'll make me well, and I'll come home."

"Okay," Cory said. He didn't look convinced.

We pulled into the emergency room parking lot. Cory came around and opened my door. A nurse was waiting with a wheelchair. Surprised, I sat down as she reasurred me, "This is just a precaution. Your doctor called ahead and your room is waiting. Cory, you might want to run home and pack up a few things that you think Topanga will need. She'll be here when you get back."

After we got to the semi-private room, I slipped into the usual backless hospital gown and laid on the bed. Cory gave me a last worried glance before he left. Dr Hastings came in with another doctor behind her. "Topanga, this is Dr Handey. He will be taking care of you during your stay here. We're going to start the IV now."

After the drip was started, the two doctors left me alone to rest. I closed my eyes, grateful that no one was in the other bed at the moment. Then my eyes shot back open as I realized that this would be the first time that Cory and I would spend the night alone since our marriage. Not for the first time, I regretted the changes that the baby had brought in our lives. I reached for my purse and pulled out the brochures that Ms Runyon had given us. On the front of one, there was a picture of a baby with two sets of people. The caption read, "Open Adoption". Intriged, I started reading. The brochure said basically that open adoption was when someone else raised your child but that you could still visit, receive letters, videos, and phone calls. It was supposedly a less traumatic way to give up a child, knowing that you could see how they were doing. The other brochures talked about other forms of adoptions. The idea of giving the baby up still sounded kind of foreign, but I still resolved to talk to Cory about it in detail.

 

 **Angela**

 

Shawn and I were walking around town. School was due to start next month, and we were discussing our majors. "Okay. I've finally decided. My major is... education." Shawn said proudly.

I almost spit out the capuccino granita I was eating. "What? How do you figure?"

"Most of the people who've helped me the most have been teachers. Jonathan let me live with him. Feeny's been there for me as long as I can remember." He stated this simply. "The best way I can think of to pay them back is to become a teacher and help kids too."

"Okay, can't argue with that logic. I think I would... oh heck, I still don't know what I want to do! Every time I think I've decided on something, I find something else that sounds good. I'm going into my junior year in college still with an undecided major!" I wailed.

"Look at Eric. He's graduating, and he's no closer to knowing what he wants to do than when he entered." Shawn pointed out practically.

"Great example," I said sarcastically. "I'm being compared to Eric, now."

"That's not as bad as it used to be. Since he started seeing Tory, he's really grown into a different person."

"True. I'm actually looking foward to seeing everyone at Pennbrooke. How's Jack been doing? I haven't heard from him or Rachel since May."

"Jack's fine. He's with his mom. I haven't heard from Rachel, either."

"Oh." We continued walking. Two kids were running down the block, playing tag. They looked to be around seven, and I stared at them until they ran around the corner. Shawn gave me a quizzical glance.

"I was thinking about Cory and Topanga. They have the whole family thing going."

"Yeah. We should stop in and see them."

"Why don't we call first? See if they're home and all."

We picked up my car and found a phone. Shawn dialed and waited. Then his face broke into a grin. "Hey, Cor," he said happily. "Yeah, we were just calling to... what? Oh, God. When? No, we'll meet you there." Shawn hung up the phone. His face was dead serious. "We have to get to County General. Topanga is in the hospital."

 

"Really guys, I'm fine! They just want to make sure that I won't get dehydrated!" Topanga protested. I wasn't too sure. Topanga looked pale, and she had lost at least ten pounds since I had seen her last month. She lay limply on the bed, and a bag full of a clear fluid was attached to her.

"Oh, honey," I breathed. "How long have you been feeling bad?"

"Not long. I really just stopped being able to hold anything down- not even water- last week." Shawn turned a dramatic shade of green. "Oops. Sorry, Shawn."

"Shawny, why don't we walk somewhere not here," Cory suggested. They left and I pulled up a chair next to the bed.

"So, tell me what's been going on."

"Nothing much. We talked to the social worker, they said that there are some programs that could help us out. I feel kinda bad needing assistance, knowing that there are people a lot worse off than Cory and I. I mean, everyone's helping out... I just feel weird, you know?"

I nodded. "Are they trying to find you a better apartment?"

"Mr Matthews is letting Cory work full time at the store to build up some savings, and they said that they would co-sign for an apartment, but not a house."

"Sounds like you are getting everything together," I mused.

"We're trying," she said dispiritedly. She closed her eyes. "Actually, Angela, I'm feeling a little sleepy. Do you mind..."

I stood up and put the chair back where it belonged, then lifted the covers over her. "Not at all, you just try and get some rest. See you later."

She didn't answer. Her deep breathing indicated that she was already asleep. I closed her door and went off to find Cory and Shawn. As I suspected, they were in the cafeteria, eating ice-cream. I sat down, commenting, "I see you're feeling better, Shawn."

"Yep. Chocolate sprinkles have restorative powers." As to illistrate the point, he took a big bite of the ice-cream.

"Topanga okay?" Cory asked.

"She's just resting. Do you guys need anything? Cory, you're welcome to come to my house for dinner," I offered.

"Um, I'll take a raincheck on that. I was planning to stay here until visiting hours are over, then stopping somewhere to eat. It'll be, like, 10pm before I leave here."

"Just stop by. I'll save you a plate."

Cory walked us to my car. "Look guys, I honestly appreciate this."

"Anytime, Cor," Shawn said. They hugged, and then Cory turned to me. We hugged briefly,and I got in the car. "Remember, dinner tonight. Don't forget!"

We drove to Shawn's apartment. "Will you come to dinner tonight? I'll fix spaghetti."

"Love to. Eight?"

"Sure." We kissed before he got out of the car.

I drove to the store to pick up some supplies for dinner. When I got home, I checked my mail. In addition to the usual bills and junk, there was a buff envelope with my full name. It had been fowarded to me from one of my previous addresses when my dad had been stationed in the States. I turned over the weighty package. On the back was a sticker of lipsticked lips. I set it down on the coffee table to read later. I went ahead and fixed spaghetti with meat sauce with garlic bread. I was finishing the table when the doorbell rang.

Shawn was standing there with Cory, Eric and Tory. They all were laughing at some joke that Eric had told to them. We exchanged hello's and I apologized for not having enough food, which was a joke because I don't know how to cook in small quantities. After we had pigged out, we sat back and talked about our different majors.

"I plan to be a florist," Tory announced. "I really like helping things grow."

As she talked, I studied her. Tory didn't seem at all Eric's type to me. Aside from her hippie exterior, she was obviously very smart and I didn't see what they would find to talk about. I felt though, that her sense of playfulness and humor did balance Eric's nicely.

We talked until it was after midnight. Cory begged off, saying that he had to work early. Eric and Tory left soon after. Shawn and I popped in an old movie and snuggled on the couch.

"So, what are you doing tomorrow?" Shawn asked, nuzzling my neck.

"Something stupid. I have to talk to my Student Advisor to tell her that I don't have a clue of what to do with my life. You?"

"Setting up work-study for the new school year."

"Wanna go see Topanga after our appointments?"

"Sure. Call me after you're ready."

"Deal." We watched the movie in silence. Shawn started playing with the braids in my hair. He kissed me and we entangled slowly and stretched out on the couch. As we grew more passionate, Shawn's leg kicked my coffee table, spilling a water candle centerpiece.

"I'm sorry! Here, let me help you clean up." He grabbed some towels and mopped up the water. Some of it had spilled onto my mail. I was about to toss the sodden pieces when Shawn picked up the buff envelope.

"This didn't get as wet. You should be able to iron this and your bills dry. Sadly, the junk mail is dead." I laughed nervously as Shawn turned over the package. "Feels heavy. People sending you books now?"

"No, I'm sure it's probably just... I don't know. I'll find out later."

"Let's open it!"

"No!" Realizing I sounded really defensive, I gave a weak chuckle and said, "It's just some junk. Look, it's getting kinda late. Do you want me to take you home?"

"Can't I stay over?" Shawn mock-pouted.

"You'll never buy the cow if you get the milk for free. Do you need a ride?"

"Sure."

When I arrived back home, I took the envelope and put it in my treasure trunk with the other ones. I sighed as I thought of Shawn- or anyone else- ever finding out what they contained.


	3. Chapter 3

**Angela**

I was glad school was back in. I still couldn't shake this malaise that I was under. It had been months since I had felt truly happy. Everyone seemed to be getting their lives together except for me. I talked to my Student Advisor and she suggested that I volunteer somewhere in a field that interested me. Which is how I found myself in a children's wing in a hospital. I was reading a child a story, which was boring to me but interesting to him.

His parents told me that he had sickle cell anemia and he had been hospitalized for a crisis, which I didn't understand but nodded knowingly anyway. After he fell asleep, I went from room to room to see if anyone else wanted a story. Basically, I was a candy striper, but I felt like I was helping kids. The cloud I was under was starting to go away. I could even see myself going into medicine, but I would have to take a ton of makeup classes in science and math, and time was running out for me to take those.

After I left the hospital, I called Shawn. We were supposed to study tonight with Topanga and Cory, and I had told them I would be running a little late. I hummed as I stopped at the store to pick up some chips and dip for the study session. As I was in the checkout line, I saw a little girl with the prettiest eyes you could imagine. They were huge, liquid, and expressive. She was holding a woman's hand, presumably her mother. I smiled as she tugged on the woman's hand. I remembered doing that to my mother, a long time ago. Then I remembered something else that took the smile off of my face. I hurriedly paid for my purchases and left the store.

 

 **Topanga**

 

I lumbered through the apartment. At seven months, my gracefulness had went the way of my figure. It was one more thing that I was resentful for. The hoped for feeling of motherhood had not started when the baby started kicking. In fact, Dr Hastings had told me that what I was feeling were kicks, not just butterflies in the stomach. Since then, the kicks had gotten stronger and more frequent, as if the child wasn't willing to stay inside any longer. At least Dr Hastings thought I would probably deliver before my due date rather than after, although she did warn me that first babies came on their own schedule.

Cory came in right behind me. He was carrying my backpack and his. Ever since I got out of the hospital, he had been taking extra special care of me, which I liked or resented, depending on my mood. Right now, I liked it. "Thanks, honey," I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"Anytime, milady," he said gallantly. He mock bowed after setting the bags by the door. He came and sat besides me on the couch. "Now, what else do you require? Ice cream with pickles? Frosted Flakes and Spagetti-o's? A nice foot rub?"

"Actually, I'm going to do something for you!" I carefully got off of the couch and went into our little kitchen. "I'm fixing your favorite meal tonight."

"Your'e making pancakes for dinner? All right!" As he danced around the room, I couldn't help but laugh. Hopefully if we were both in relaxed moods, then what I had to say to Cory would go better. I had really thought about what Ms Runyon had said about adoption. We were really young, relatively broke, and still in school. I was seriously starting to think about the possiblity.

As we sat down to dinner (Cory was eating the pancakes plain and I was eating mine smothered in peanut butter), the phone rang. I got up to answer it before Cory could.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Topanga. This is Angela."

"Well, hi! How's life at the hospital?"

"It's fine. Listen, I need to talk to you. Tonight."

I looked over at Cory, who was listening to every word I said. "Um, I'm not sure tonight will be good."

"Go ahead, honey. I need some time to study anyway."

"All right," I said relunctantly. "See you around nine?"

"See you then."

After dinner, I reminded Cory that we had another appointment with Ms Runyon the next day. He said, "I don't see why we have to go back to her anyway. All she ever does is insult us because this wasn't a planned pregnancy."

"Cory! That's not what she means at all. She's just saying that there are obstacles that we have to overcome, and you know that a baby was the last time that either of us wanted right now!"

"Accidents happen to the best people. All I'm saying is that we'll be fine."

"I would rather go back to the way it was before!" I knew I was yelling and probably not making any kind of sense, but the words came flying before I could catch them. "I don't want to keep the baby!"

Cory had a thunderstruck look on his face, like I had announced that the sky had fallen in. And in a way, it had. "What do you mean," he said, having found his voice.

"She was right, you know. One of us is going to have to drop out of college, and it will probably be me! I was going to be a lawyer, remember? I wanted to make something of myself, but now I have to give it all up on something I didn't even want! I'm sorry, but that's the way I feel!" I grabbed a sweater and headed for the door. "I'm going to Angela's."

As I walked to her apartment, I remembered my old fear- that Cory would leave me when he found out about my pregnancy. "I guess I was the one to do the leaving," I spoke out loud. I was surprised to feel a little kick.

 

 **Angela**

 

Shawn and I were on my couch again. We had eaten dinner after studying, and what had started out to be conversation turned into a major snog-fest, so much that when my doorbell rang, I was surprised to hear it. Topanga was standing there, with tears running down her face.

"Hold on, Topanga, okay?" I turned to Shawn and said, "Can you leave? Now? I promise I'll make it up to you."

He agreed, I told him I would call, and shooed him out the door while simultaneously letting Topanga in. He took one glance at her tearstained face and instead of saying anything, he walked out. There's a reason I love him.

"I'm sorry I'm early," she sobbed. "I yelled at Cory for no reason, and I hate this, and I want to give the baby up for adoption!"

I stared at her in shock. "Um, I must have cotton in my ears. Did you say you want to give the baby up for adoption?"

"I think it would be for the best."

I looked at her again and said seriously, "I need to tell you something."

 

 _When I was twelve, we moved from the Army base to Springfield. It was the longest my dad had been stationed in one place since before I was born. I got to go to a regular school, and I made some friends. I had a happy time there. I met this guy, Trey. His real name was Trevor, but he was around black kids for so long that he was black in everything but color. He was sixteen. My friends all told me that he liked me, wanted to 'talk to me'. I was flattered that a guy so much older would even look at me. And he was so sweet- he would walk me home after school, he took me to all of the dances that year, and my parents even liked him. He was my first kiss, my first everything. He introduced me to sex. I didn't know anything. I didn't know about protection, so in retrospect it was easy to see that I would get pregnant._

 _I know in the stereotypical stories the boy disappears from the story then, never to be heard from again. But Trey was different. He wanted to do the right thing, but we were both too young to get married. My parents were horrified, and they wanted me to 'take care of it'. I wanted to keep my child. Trey wanted me to keep the child. But as I got nearer to term, my father learned that he was going to be shipping out the month after the baby would be born. It was decided that I would have an 'open adoption'. A mixed couple was selected to take my baby. After she was born, I got to hold her once. I cried as they took her._

 _Two weeks after she was born, on May 17th, we moved again, to an army base in Kentucky. Trey and I wrote each other for a while, but what do you talk about after you have a child that you'll never see again? Last thing I heard, he had moved somewhere out west._

 _I still get letters every now and again. She's seven now. Her name is Angelika. She really doesn't look like me- she's the color of a just baked biscuit. She has light eyes and curly reddish hair. She knows that her mom loved her, but she doesn't know anything else about me. She'll have the right to find out about me when she's eighteen. She's seven now._

 _Not a day goes by that I don't think about her. I know that she's well taken care of, that she has another family. But if I could do it over again, I would definitely keep her._


	4. Chapter 4

**Topanga**

After Angela finished her story, I had no more tears to cry. Being pregnant made me cry at the slightest reason. She told me that outside of her family, no knew except for me. I asked her if she would ever tell Shawn. She nodded and said that they were going to talk about it the next night.

After that, there was nothing I could do except to go home and talk to Cory. I explained to him how depressed I had been at the thought of disrupting our whole lives over something that I had no control over. He confessed to me that he had been apprehensive over the fact that we were starting a family before we finished college, but he had faith that we would get though it together. Just like he had said all along.

We went back to Ms Runyon and told her that we had definately decided against adoption. She understood and even gave us some more resources to help young parents. We even started Lamaze classes. After seeing the birthing videos, I was ready to go the epidural route. Cory agreed on that one.

The last weeks of my pregnancy zoomed by. Angela and Rachel threw me a baby shower, which everyone attended, even Nana BooBoo. (And we did get to keep the check.) We moved into our new two bedroom apartment exactly one week before my due date. As big as I was, I was painting the baby's room a neutral yellow and orange. For some reason, my body was pressing me to clean and clean, a lot more than usual. Dr Hastings said it was my nesting instinct kicking in.

At any rate, the baby's room was done on my due date. I had my suitcase by the door, a list of people for Cory to call, and we had put a car seat in our car. So we were ready, but apparently the baby wasn't. Two days over my due date turned into two weeks, and Dr Hastings teased me by saying that now that I had gotten into being pregnant, I didn't want to give the baby up. She didn't want to induce labor unless the baby was getting obscenely large, which it wasn't.

Finally, three weeks after my due date, I started to feel... odd. We were in a movie theatre, watching a movie I had really wanted to see, but I couldn't concentrate on it because my stomach was getting tighter and then would soften again. I figured that it was those fake contractions that I had been experiencing for a month. We had already made three trips to the hospital because of them. So I decided to sit tight (literally). About an hour and a half into the movie, I started to feel wetness between my legs. It wasn't a great burst, just enough to let me know that it would be embarassing walking out of the movie theatre. I nudged Cory, who was eating popcorn, his eyes glued to the screen. On his other side were Shawn and Angela, Eric and Tory, and Jack and Rachel. (This was a group outing.) When I whispered to Cory that I thought that my water was breaking, his reaction made six other heads swivel and turn to us. Once they figured out what was going on, they all got up and prepared to leave.

"No," I hissed. "Watch the movie! I'll be fine!"

Of course, they didn't listen. We left to the boos of our fellow moviegoers becaue of the noise we were making, which made Eric yell, "We're having a baby!" Everyone clapped as I ran out, clutching my stomach. The contractions were becoming stronger, and I found myself stopping and panting them out between trying to get to the car. About five feet before I got there, my water did break, which embarrassed me thoroughly but pleased Cory because he didn't want to have to get the car detailed. We caravanned to the hospital at twenty miles over the speed limit. When we pulled up to the front of the emergency room, my parents and Cory's were waiting at the front entrance. I hopped into the wheelchair that the nurse had for me. I sat back, happy but anxious. We were going to have a baby!

 

 **Angela**

We were all in the waiting room: Cory's parents, with Morgan and Josh, Topanga's parents, who were on opposite sides of the room but cordial, Mr Feeny, Jack, Rachel, Eric, Tory, Shawn and I. The nurse teased us that we were going to mob the baby when it was born. I tried not to think that the last time we were in a hospital like this, Shawn lost his father. This was a happy occasion.

Eric asked suddenly, "Does anyone have a clue if the baby's going to be a boy or girl?" We all looked at each other. Not one of us knew.

"I don't think they wanted to know ahead of time," Mrs Matthews said. She was sitting between her husband and Eric, who was holding Josh.

Shawn whispered in my ear, "You holding up okay?" I nodded gratefully. After I had told Shawn my story, he had been understandably hurt that I hadn't told him sooner, but he understood when I told him that he was my first real relationship after all of that had happened, and I didn't want to make the same mistake twice. Our relationship was stronger once everything had come out.

After a while, Cory came out of Topanga's room. "She would like to see you," he said, pointing to Mrs Lawrence. She went dashing in there. Cory came and sat down next to Shawn and I. "Just one thing, Cor. Do you know what the baby's going to be?"

"Sure do, Shawny." He whispered something in Shawn's ear, which made Shawn grin from ear to ear. I waited expectantly for Shawn to tell me, and when it was obvious that he had no intention of doing so, I socked him.

"Hey!" He rubbed his arm.

"Are you going to tell me what he said?"

Shawn's grin grew wider. "Later."

"I'm going to hold you to that."

 

 **Topanga**

 

"Drugs! Drugs! Unhhhhh!" After I chanted that a few times, the contraction subsided. I laid back on the bed, exhausted and sweaty. Cory gave me ice chips, which I really didn't want but I was too tired to say so. "Darn anestheia reaction," I muttered. My doctor had recommended natural childbirth based on the way I had reacted under sedation when I had my molars removed. (I slept for about four days straight.) So I was suffering the good old-fashioned way.

"You're doing great, honey."

All of the sudden, my body was telling me to push. I didn't even know that I would feel like that. "I've got to push!" I yelled. "Now!"

Dr Hastings laughed. "Go ahead, Topanga. Push as hard as you can." I did, and as I did so, I heard a thump. I opened my eyes to find Cory slumped over on the floor. "The baby's head is crowning." I realized that I could feel exactly what she was talking about. Then the sensation to push came on me again, and I went with it, not thinking about anything else. "The baby's head is out! Give me about three more of those big pushes, and you'll have your baby." I did so, groaning with the strain. I felt something slide out of me, and then Dr Hastings said, "You have a girl!"

I laughed aloud. "Can I hold her?"

"In a minute. The nurses are cleaning her up."

As they were getting her ready, Cory sat up weakly. "How is she?"

"How did you know that the baby was a girl?"

He looked sheepish. "I found out at the last ultrasound. Since you didn't want to know, I didn't tell you."

"Okay."

"Okay? No big speech?"

"Too tired for big speeches." The nurse brought the baby over for me to hold. I took her, marvelling at how small she actually was. She had no hair, and her eyes were firmly shut. I saw that her fists were balled up. I counted her fingers and toes, pointing them out to Cory. I handed her to him, watching as he talked softly to her. Our eyes met over her head, and we smiled at each other. "You're a daddy!" I said softly.

"And you're a mommy."

 

 **Angela**

 

Shawn and I were back at my apartment. We had just gotten back from the hospital, and we were exhausted. It was four o' clock in the morning, and we had classes the next day. We were on my couch, talking about the day's events.

"Shawn, what did Cory say to you earlier?"

"He said, Uncle Shawn will have a niece."

"I wondered if he knew. Listen, I have something to ask you. I know with Eric and Tory getting serious, and with Jack and Rachel already together, I'll bet your apartment is getting crowded. I was wondering, did you want to live here, with me?"

"No."

"No!" I took a deep breath, trying to stay calm. "Why not?"

"Because... well, I wasn't going to tell you until I heard from your dad, but oh, well." He got off of the couch and knelt in front of me. Realizing what he was about to do, I began to cry. I could barely see by the time that he said, "Angela, will you marry me?"

I sobbed out my answer. "Yes!"

Epilogue

 _Five years later_

 _The refrigerator is covered with drawings. Some of them are 'abstract', others more detailed. One holds the place of honor, right in the middle. It is full of stick figures with names over the top. There are Uncle Eric and Aunt Tory, Uncle Jack, Aunt Morgan, Uncle Josh, Uncle Shawn and Aunt Angela, Mr Feeny, Ganny, Grampa, Nana, and Poppa, and Mommy and Daddy. And in the middle, one little stick figure with brown curly hair. Her name is Corrine Angelina._

 _End_

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't my best effort, by any means. I totally would do lots of things differently now, including using a really good grammar beta, and a spell check, and another ruler-popping beta on top of that. But hey, you only lose your fanfic cherry once. This is for my past and future girls, Cooter and Laine. One of them fell by the wayside, and one of them I only wish would. Love ya, babe!


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